In this week’s Criticize This! we take a look at one of the worst excuses of a Christmas movie to ever grace the screen, an intriguing drama about the Catholic Church, and some great options that are now streaming.

THE BIG ONE

We had a feeling Red One was not going to be good just by watching the trailer for it. You put Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans in an action Christmas movie with extremely bad CGI and a cringy script, and you get a big ole’ pile of reindeer poop.

The movie currently has a 34% critics score on Rotten Tomatoes, which is much higher than we expected it to be!

“A Christmas movie with product placement for the whole family, from Hot Wheels to Bulleit Bourbon, it’s a formulaic action film, with generic CGI battles and Johnson in automaton mode,” Richard Crouse wrote in his review.

“It’s hard to believe that Amazon spent hundreds of millions of dollars on this loud, empty and hideous-looking holiday lump of coal, which brings a superficial superhero movie approach to familiar Christmas material,” Josh Bell wrote for Tom’s Guide.

And in one of the best negative reviews we read, M.N. Miller wrote on FandomWire that Red One is “so relentlessly lacklustre and uninspired that I wondered if it was a cruel holiday prank meant to ruin our Christmas spirit.” We feel your pain, M.N.!

In one of only a handful of positive reviews we found, Jason Flatt called out the “Red One haters” and said the movie is “fun and delivers more than its fair share of heartwarming moments.” Sorry Jason, but we wouldn’t call sitting through this torture “fun” or “heartwarming” (guess we’re in the “Red One haters” club).

Our take: If you really have the urge to see this movie, save your money and wait to watch it at home. It will most likely bomb and be streaming on Prime Video before Christmas.

Red One is now in theatres.

IN THEATRES

Conclave

For those into dramatic thrillers about the Catholic Church (and really, who isn’t?), Conclave is a solid entry in the genre that is currently sitting at a 92% critics score and an 85% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Starring Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, and John Lithgow, the movie follows the Cardinal (Fiennes) in charge of selecting a new Pope after the death of the most recent “Holy Father”.

“This is a straightforward, crystal clear drama, executed masterfully, and that makes it one of the most compelling films of the year,” Matthew Jackson wrote in his review for The Huntsville Item.

WATCH: Trailer for Conclave

Writing for USA Today, Cory Woodward said the movie is “closer to The Da Vinci Code than First Reformed, but it’s a real gem all the same.”

In one of only a few negative reviews, Sister Hosea Rupprecht – an actual Catholic nun – wrote that Conclave “takes a sacred ritual of the Catholic Church and turns it into a travesty plagued by every scandal in the book. Rather than a whodunit, it’s more like a ‘who didn’t do it,’ leaving this Catholic reviewer slightly miffed and quite saddened.”

We found it refreshing to watch a straight drama aimed at adults. And along with some top-notch performances by the three lead actors, there’s a lot of interesting visual elements to the movie. Also worth noting is the amazing score, composed by Volker Bertelmann, which kept the suspense going and is sure to get an Oscar nomination next year (and it will probably win).

Conclave is now playing in select threatres across Canada.

TOP BOX OFFICE

1. Venom: The Last Dance
2. Heretic
3. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

STREAMING

Saturday Night (VOD)

If you’re a viewer of ‘Saturday Night Live’, especially one who watched it back in its heyday, then Jason Reitman’s Saturday Night is essential viewing.

The movie begins an hour and a half before the very first broadcast on October 11, 1975 and pretty much runs in real-time as Lorne Michaels (Gabriel LaBelle) deals with the chaos of trying to get his cast and crew organized to go live on a show no one can quite explain. The movie gets the energy and anxiety of what it must have felt like to be there across perfectly, and is a pure rush to witness.

Reitman’s casting is also spot on in every possible way.

From his look to his voice, Cory Michael Smith embodies everything about Chevy Chase. Same with Dylan O’Brien as Dan Aykroyd, Matt Wood as John Belushi, Ella Hunt as Gilda Radner, Lamorne Morris as Garrett Morris (who are surprisingly not related in real life), and Kim Matula as Jane Curtin.

WATCH: Trailer for Saturday Night

In a dual role, Nicholas Braun plays Andy Kaufman and Jim Henson, and he completely nails both performances. The only actor that felt miscast was Matthew Rhys as George Carlin, but it’s such a small part it doesn’t take you out of the movie experience.

Saturday Night currently has a 78% critics score and an 84% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with a 7.3 out of 10 on the IMDb. It’s now available to buy or rent on VOD platforms in Canada.

My Old Ass (Prime Video)

It’s a shame Amazon didn’t promote My Old Ass better during its theatrical run in Canada. Not only was the movie shot in the Muskoka area of Ontario, but it’s also set in the area with plenty of local scenery to take in. This definitely made us connect to it more, as we’re sure many other Canadians might have as well.

The movie is a coming-of-age story about Elliott (Maisy Stella), who, on her 18th birthday, takes a bunch of magic mushrooms with her friends and ends up meeting her older self (Aubrey Plaza). The movie then takes some interesting twists and turns with an equal amount of funny and emotional scenes on display.

WATCH: Trailer for My Old Ass

“Hands-down one of the best coming-of-age stories in a long time — one that asks viewers to consider what they would have told their younger selves if given the chance,” Sean P. Means wrote in his review on The Movie Cricket.

It has a solid 90% critics score on Rotten Tomatoes with an 89% audience rating. On the IMDb, it’s sitting at a 7.1 out of 10 based off of over 12,000 reviews.

My Old Ass is now streaming on Prime Video.

Also new to streaming recently: The Substance, starring Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley, is on MUBI, and the LEGO-animated Pharrell Williams biopic Piece By Piece, Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis, and A Different Man, starring Sebastian Stan, are all on VOD platforms.

COMING SOON

As we get ready to enjoy the next phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, one of the more intriguing titles appears to be next year’s Thunderbolts*.

This movie takes the likes of Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh), Bucky (Sebastian Stan), Red Guardian (David Harbour), John Walker (Wyatt Russell), Taskmaster (Olga Kurylenko), and Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen), and teams them up as an Avengers-like team of misfits.

We will know for sure if it’s as fun as it looks or a complete dud after it arrives in theatres on May 2, 2025.

Check out the trailer for Thunderbolts* on our YouTube channel and let us know what you think?

ON DISC

There’s a funny Easter egg in the Thunderbolts* trailer where Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ character asks “who is this old Santa?” referring to David Harbour’s Red Guardian. Harbour, of course, played an old Santa in the excellent 2022 movie Violent Night.

While a bit over-the-top, Violent Night got good reviews from both critics and audiences and it’s become a fun “anti-Christmas movie” movie to watch each holiday season (similar to how Die Hard is).

If you’re a fan of the film, the 4K Blu-ray is worth adding to the collection. While the image quality is vibrant, it’s the Dolby Atmos surround mix that really makes it the reason to drop the money on it. There are a lot of great loud action sequences, and this mix will give your home theatre system a true workout.

Special features on the 4K Blu-ray include deleted and extended scenes, a making-of featurette, audio commentary, and more.

You can currently buy the 4K Blu-ray for Violent Night on Amazon.ca for $18.99.

*When you buy through links in our newsletter and our site we might receive compensation at no additional cost to you.

Subscribe and get Criticize This! delivered to your inbox every Friday!